Overcoming the Subconscious Resistance to Change – Emotional Freedom Techniques

When I work with new clients, I’m always interested in why they have chosen to learn and use EFT. The answer is usually in the negative, “I’m very ill”, “I’m overweight”, “I procrastinate”, or “I don’t have enough money in my life”, etc. As a result of this, I changed one of the questions on my client intake form to read ‘What are your expectations of EFT?’ This ensures the client focuses on what she would like to accomplish rather than what is going wrong in her life. Sometimes it’s easier to give attention to what we don’t want in our lives, rather than what we do want. We focus on our lack of money, our poor health, or chronic pain, or how unhealthy we feel after eating a “comfort” food.

When we make a definitive decision to focus on what we do want, powerful fears can arise about making the necessary changes. For example, “If I have money, I’ll have to be responsible”, or “If I am healthy and vibrant again, I’ll be expected to return to work and/or look after the family”, or “If I stop eating these cookies every evening, I’ll have to face what’s missing in my life”.

I have experienced that one of the biggest responses to the possibility of change is ‘Who would I be without this _________________ [extra weight, lack of money, illness, pain, addiction, anger, hurt, etc]? This is a frightening consideration because it is exactly the weight, illness, anger, etc which may well define us. It’s who we’ve become: Our identity.

Recently, I was working with a client and we very successfully neutralized some horribly painful childhood memories, which had held her back from believing in herself. Then she considered, “I’m just wondering who I am without these memories”. It was almost as if a part of her essence had been removed. I suggested she might want to consider that thought with curiosity instead of fear, and we started to apply EFT on all the things she would be able to think, feel and achieve as a result of letting go of those debilitating memories.

Our subconscious mind wants to keep us safe and is very resistant to change. So, even if the possibility of change consciously feels exciting and new, the subconscious will probably do its utmost to keep us firmly rooted in where we are now, because now is safe and familiar. There is a pay-off for the subconscious to hold on to the familiar. This is known as Secondary Benefit Syndrome. In other words, there is some benefit to staying where we are now, even if consciously we desire to move forward.

Luckily, with EFT we have a tool which can override the stubborn subconscious, and I usually suggest my clients tap on the karate chop point (KC) and repeat the following three times:

“Even though for whatever reason, there’s a part of me that doesn’t want to let go of this _______________ [illness, weight, lack of money, anger, etc], there’s a bigger part of me that wants to accept myself.”

The purpose of this is to neutralize the Secondary Benefit Syndrome. Once this is cleared, we are ready to apply regular EFT on the issue at hand.

When we tap on our limiting beliefs, traumatic memories and pain, we shift our perspective, gently allowing our subconscious to consider change. Once the subconscious realizes there is nothing to gain from holding on to the problem, it is open to changing.

If there is a part of you which, for whatever reason, is resisting recovering from an illness, losing weight, achieving financial freedom, etc., you might want to try the following EFT procedure. (Please note: I have used illness as the problem but you can substitute whatever concern you have.) First of all, tap on the “reversal” phrase (above), and then tap the karate chop point on the other hand while saying the following:

“Even though I don’t know who I’d be if I were healthy again, I want to accept myself anyway”

“Even though I’m frightened to recover because of what they’ll expect of me, I deeply and completely accept myself”

“Even though I’ll lose my identity if I become healthy again, I deserve to forgive myself for how I’m feeling.”

Now tap the following places while saying each of the phrases below:

o top of head: I don’t know who I’d be

o eyebrow: Being sick has become my identity

o side of eye: Everyone accepts me in this role

o under eye: and if I recover, they’ll expect more of me

o under nose: I’ll have to resume my responsibilities

o chin: and that’s too much for me right now

o collarbone: I feel threatened by the possibility of changing

o under arm: I’m afraid to change

o top of head: I want to enjoy the freedom that whole health offers me

o eyebrow: I want to make a commitment to my healing

o side of eye: I deserve to feel safe enough to recover

o under eye: I don’t have to feel obligated to change

o under nose: I choose to feel curious about the possibility of changing

o chin: and how exciting my life will be

o collarbone: I’m starting to feel curious about who I could be without this illness

o under arm: I deserve to change now

After you have tapped through this round, write down how you’re feeling and any new thoughts which have come up, then tap again, changing the wording if you need to. Remember, the phrases you use are simply a way of outwardly expressing how you’re feeling. You don’t need to be creative – just state what’s on your mind.

We are capable of so much but our subconscious blocks us from moving forward. Thankfully, by applying EFT we are able to eliminate the self-sabotage and not only restore our health, but move towards vibrancy and living the life we deserve to live.

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Find Peace with EFT: Use Emotional Freedom Techniques (EFT) to Feel at Peace

I know I want to feel at peace. Do you? Mahatma Gandhi said, “Each one has to find his peace from within. And peace to be real must be unaffected by outside circumstances.” Now, this is an admirable goal.

Mahatma Gandhi also said, “We must be the change we wish to see.” It stimulated me to ask myself what I could do to be at peace with myself. One thing I do to create inner peace is Emotional Freedom Techniques (EFT). EFT is a “tapping” technique that rebalances the body’s energy system, thereby reducing or eliminating emotional and/or physical problems. I use it extensively to release my anxiety, stress, painful memories and ineffective beliefs. When I do, I feel relaxed and at peace.

When I am in that state of inner peace, what is going on around me doesn’t affect me negatively. If it does, I once again use EFT to return to a state of peace. Consequently, external conditions rarely affect me. When I am at peace with myself, I emanate peace. In this way, I am creating more peace in the world. Let me give you an example.

I live in Oaxaca, Mexico where there was a political conflict for about 8 months in 2006. I was living in the middle of the conflict. You could feel it, sense it everywhere. I learned during this time that my greatest gift to the resolution was to stay at peace. It was a true test of staying at peace when outer circumstances are not peaceful. When I did, I could talk to friends, clients and strangers with a deep sense of inner peace. People invariably noticed it and many commented that just talking to me made them feel more at peace. In those moments, I was truly creating more peace in the world. It was quite an honor.

I asked myself what I could do to help you find this inner peace. Since I am an EFT practitioner, I decided to create an EFT script and audio for peace. It is my gift to you. You can get your copy in English or Spanish by clicking on the following link to my website, viewing it and/or downloading it with a right click from most browsers. Click Find the Light Within

to enter the site. For English click on the icon EFT Scripts/Audios, for Spanish click on Escritos/Audios de EFT.

The script briefly explains the EFT technique, illustrates the tapping points and allows you to read the peace script. The audio allows you to tap along with my voice.

Feel free to use the EFT script and audio for peace whenever you feel stressed or anxious and want to feel at peace. Share it with your family, friends and acquaintances. Let’s spread peace by creating it within each one of us and then sharing that peace. It can only grow stronger and more profound.

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